Body-rocking is always a transient phenomenon, representing that particular phase of the child’s life. It is best ignored and no intervention is necessary.

*184\90\8*

“It’s a nightmare,” the wife reported. “I can’t really remember much of it. He would just touch me. Every night, my rather would touch me.” The wife continued in more detail to describe her experience. Her therapist was able to help her free herself from feelings of guilt, even responsibility for her own abuse.

“They all grabbed me,” reported the husband. “They pulled my pants down and took turns hitting my penis. I cried, and they said that until I stopped crying, they would not stop hitting. I couldn’t stop. The coach came in, and I told him I just fell. I never told anyone this.”

Men and women in the couples sample all reported some instance of sexual abuse. This becomes the dark part of our love map, a part that leads us away from love, leads us to seek out compensation or sanctuary from the threat of a corrupted intimacy.

*84\97\8*

This means reiearning to have a ‘normal’ bad day without reacting with fear that ‘it is all coming back’. Returning to ‘normal’ means we will have bad days, just like everyone else.

We will probably have days when we feel unwell. It doesn’t mean a return of the disorder—it means we are feeling unwell. We need to make sure we are eating properly and getting enough sleep. If not, we will feel tired and irritable just like everyone does when they neglect themselves.

Recovery is worth every step. At times the working-through process is difficult. Don’t lose sight of the overall picture which can be changed from one of fear and anxiety to one of clarity and freedom.

*98\94\8*

It is true that some people die of cancer very soon after having an operation for it. If you look into it you will find that most of these patients have had operations which consisted simply of opening them up, having a look and closing them up again. In other words, most of these patients already had extensive cancer before their operation, so extensive that no useful procedure was possible. Rather than asking ‘Did the operation aggravate their cancer?’, I think questions such as these are more important: ‘What was the purpose of operating at all?’ ‘What possible benefit was expected?’ ‘Couldn’t they have found out before operating that it would not be possible to do anything useful?’

‘Open and shut’ operations should hardly ever happen. They can usually be avoided by careful assessment of patients. The diagnosis and probable extent of disease should be established by tests before any operation is planned. A properly-planned procedure is rarely made impossible by finding something unexpected when the patient is operated on.

*223/40/1*

Many men have anxiety and some sexual dysfunction following a heart attack. Most of the problem is fear.

The physical exertion of having sex may cause angina and this may so inhibit a man that he develops impotence.

Others lose their libido or interest in sex as a secondary result of the depression which often follows a heart attack. This depression is usually due to a loss of one’s previous health.

Many women also have problems with sex after their husbands’ heart attacks.

This may be related to fear that the effort of sex will cause a further heart attack or even guilt that he experiences pain or has to have sex to satisfy her.

The doctor should have a full and frank discussion with the man about his sexual life following a heart attack. His wife should be present and her sexual obligations and needs considered and discussed, as well as her husband’s.

Few doctors have the insight and lack of embarrassment to be able to do this regularly and competently. Some specialists think it is the duty of the patient’s local doctor, and the family doctor may think it the specialist’s job.

Often the doctor is just too embarrassed to raise the subject directly with the patient and if the patient asks he may be fobbed off with a non-commital answer.

*411/71/1*

The young, non-smoking woman who uses the Pill to “space” her family has no reason to be alarmed. Older women, those over 30 and particularly smokers may consider a different method of contraception.

Many women, to avoid the risks associated with taking the Pill, are having their tubes tied. But this may lead to heavy and more frequent periods after a number of years and require a hysterectomy or removal of the womb.

The older methods of contraception, such as the diaphragm and the condom, both used in combination with a spermicidal cream, are becoming more popular. Vasectomy, or male sterilisation, may be more commonly sought by couples where there are so many complications when the woman assumes the responsibility.

Reversal of tubal ligation and vasectomy is possible but fertility may not return, particularly when the reversal is attempted a number of years after the original sterilisation.

*157/71/1*

All conditioning products, whether they be called moisturizers, lubricants, skin food, night creams or foundation creams, etc., are mixtures of an oil and water. Other ingredients are often added to prevent spoilage, to keep the oil and water well mixed, and to provide perfume. Many different kinds of oil, some with fancy sounding names, are used; there is, however, no evidence that one kind of conditioner is better than another. The various products available may feel, smell and look different, and prices may vary dramatically, but basically they are very similar. They are all variations of the formula for old-fashioned cold cream—modified because their primary purpose is to smooth and soften, rather than cleanse, the skin. Because they are to be left on rather than wiped off after application, they are made to be less greasy than cold cream. If the oil used has a low melting point, the oily film on the skin will feel greasy. If the oil has a high melting point, it will not fee] greasy when rubbed onto the skin: rather it will become colourless and seem to vanish. Hence products using the latter type of oil may be termed foundation creams (or vanishing creams) and are likely to be preferred for daytime use under make-up.

Conditioning creams act by leaving a thin oily film on the skin which retards the evaporation of moisture from the outer skin layers. However, it is not possible for externally applied oils or the skin’s natural oils to keep the skin hydra ted, soft and flexible without the aid of water. This water, however, is the fluid produced by the skin itself as sweat, as well as the fluid emanating from the blood and lymph which surround all the living cells of the body. No drops of water from the outside ever reaches the skin’s living cells, which is just as well, otherwise we would become waterlogged after a bath or swim! Indeed, loss of water, not oil, from the outer layer of the skin is the basic cause of dryness. Wetting the skin for two or three minutes night and morning is clearly not going to replace the water lost by natural hydration. Even in a temperate climate, invisible perspiration of approximately half a litre daily traverses the skin, quite apart from visible sweat. The only way to prevent the skin from drying out is to trap some of this natural body fluid, which is where the oil in the cream, or the fat in the sebum, are useful: they act by inhibiting, through their impermeability, the evaporation of water trapped in the superficial skin cells.

Conditioning creams also make the skin look and feel soft by cementing down the rough, scaly surface, and smooth it by decreasing the ‘drag’ felt when touching the skin.

Astringents and skin fresheners or toners are liquids made up of alcohol, glycerine and water. They are useful for the quick removal of make-up and the cleansing of oily skin in particular; more generally, they are used for their cooling or refreshing effect. Astringents have a slightly higher concentration of alcohol than skin fresheners and may contain a few additional drying ingredients. They give the skin a tighter feel to it, on account of which they are often promoted, falsely, as products which close the pores’.

*7\44\4*

• Eat regular meals and snacks—plan to eat every three hours or so

• Include low G.I. carbohydrate foods at every meal and for snacks

• Mix high G.I. foods with low G.I. foods in your meals—the combination will give an overall intermediate G.I.

• Avoid eating high G.I. foods on their own for snacks—this can trigger hypoglycaemia.

Diane, with her hectic working life, often did not find time for proper meals. Finally, her body no longer accepted the strain. It was under. Diane began to experience odd bouts of weakness and shakiness where she was unable to think clearly. A visit to the doctor and a glucose tolerance test confirmed that she was suffering from hypoglycaemia. The treatment was to change her habits—her eating pattern at least. Diane needed to eat three regular meals a day with snacks in between. The thought of eating six times every day seemed an enormous task to Diane—and it took much thought and planning to organise her new diet. What kept her going was how much better she felt almost immediately. The following meal plan is a typical menu for Diane’s day.

Breakfast 6 am – Banana, milk, yoghurt, honey and vanilla blended into a smoothie for a speedy start to the day.

At work 8.30 am – An oatbran and apple muffin (home-made on the weekend and frozen individually).

Lunch 12 noon – (New habit—must have every day). A substantial sandwich, roll or foccacia. Occasionally a Mexican dish with beans or a pasta meal if out.

At work 3 pm – Handful of dried fruit (kept in jar in office).

Still at work 5 pm – Couple of oatmeal biscuits (kept in office) for late days.

Dinner 7.30 pm – Something quick, often pasta, baked beans on toast or meat and vegetables. (Always double check for carbohydrate in the main). Fruit or milkshake for dessert or late night snack.

*137\33\4*